How to be a Dog in 5 Easy Steps!

20 Mar 2015 by Lexi Gass, 1 Comment »

Have you ever had those moments in life where you really don’t want any more responsibility? Do you ever just want to nap and eat food all day and not be judged for it? Do you ever just want to get a really nice belly rub every once in a while? Then you are creepy… JUST KIDDING you probably want to be a dog! Dogs have the life, man. Doing whatever they want whenever they want, getting to be all adorable, and getting food whenever you beg for it. People envy the simple life of a dog, so here are 5 steps on how to ‘be a dog.’

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1)You need to be really cute and fluffy. Everyone loves the adorable fluffy shagginess of a cute lil’ pup. Just wash up your hair all nice and good, then make it look like an adorable piece of cotton.

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2) Annoy everyone for food. Every dog I have ever seen has begged for food at least once.  The main goal in life for a dog is to get more food…and to play with toys.

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3) Eat peoples couches and rip up clothes and destroy everything. **Now, this is a little extreme, but its okay because your a dog so you can get away with pretty much anything.

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4) Bark literally all day every day. Your main goal is to to protect everyone even though you are probably attracting coyotes. It’s the thought that counts…right?

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5) Get belly rubs all the time. Why not? You’re a dog you have no actual goals in life except to be happy and steal people’s food and their hearts.

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Doesn’t being a dog sound fun? I want to do it! Next stop, PetSmart to get me some treats!

*This won’t actually turn you into a dog.

**Please, don’t ruin people’s furniture. That’s just wrong.

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One Comment

  1. S. Henry says:


    Don’t tell my master that I’m using her iPad, but I just had to write. Your article was so funny, it had me howling! So doggone good, that I’m drooling with anticipation for the next one.

    Pugs and kisses,

    Fletch Henry

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